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#ringtones #megaman #martika cc @kerryrm @cuddlesandrage
Just to set the scene for this email, I want you to know that I’ve been a huge Honest Tea fan for YEARS (RIP Gold Rush). I’m often ridiculed by my friends because I always have a bottle or two of Honest Tea with me wherever I go. There’s a half-full bottle of Lori’s Lemon and an unopened Peach White on my desk right now.
A few weeks ago I jumped for joy when I saw Honest Fizz at the Gaithersburg Whole Foods. A lightly-sweetened soda from the makers of the finest bottled tea ever? Could there be anything more perfect?! Unfortunately, almost everything imaginable is more perfect than this… Honest Fizz is terrible. I bought two 6-packs: Professor Fizz and Root Beer. The sweetener aftertaste in each was so strong and terrible that I couldn’t bring myself to finish off a single can. The soda itself had the potential to be quite delicious, but oh god… the aftertaste.
I yearn for a lightly-sweetened, sugar-based soda. I wish Honest Tea could be the company that provides that, but Honest Fizz is undrinkable. It really makes me sad because your teas are some of the finest liquids I have ever ingested.
Still a fan, but sticking to tea, Jeremy
Shit. I forgot to rebuke the spirits on my last Zappos order.
Superbowl Bash Bro’det
A bidet jammed to the brim with bubbling, overflowing Velveeta over a hidden layer of hamburger-fisted pig skins and a generous sprinkling of Dirty South Couch Crumbs. The bidet is an MP3 player that plays Smash Mouth while you eat.
Meetings can be…awkward.
Everyone assumed someone else would bring bagels.
But, alas: no one brought bagels.